Views in Life: Dig Down Deep

Philosophy, or how we view things in life, may vary from person to person. It is merely based on the fact that not a single person has exactly the same experience as others. It may help map the course to where we long to be in the future, or it may also be a sidestep to an unfavorable one.
My philosophy in life is simple. That is to do my best on things I do, and let God take good care of the rest.

Not all happenings in life favors us. Some may shatter our feelings to pieces, and drains our strength from its very core. Some seems to break our worlds apart and take everything from us, everything, 'til we find ourselves empty. Empty and so much weak. But others say, weakness is good. It is somehow a way of Him who loves us to lead us to the right track. That weakness is good, because if we are that weak, we often find ourselves limp but comforted in the arms of God.
People say, "Experience is the best teacher!", I believe that. For instance in school, I sometimes feel overconfident about a lesson that I do not further study it. Others obviously study hard and I just found myself leafing pages on the exam's coverage. When the exam comes, and I'm so eager to answer but heck I couldn''t remember every single thing clearly. Then the score is not to be mentioned here. That was indeed so frustrating! Hence, from it I learned a back-breaking lesson the hard way. That I must not be overconfident but just prepare myself in a good way, and do best and focus on exam's day.

We all have lots to say about experience and views in life. Simply because we are different in many ways. But we could not cast fog over the truth that we are all humans. And some of us, in one way or the other, if not exactly the same, have similar happenings in life. Some of us lose an opportunity that can lift us to comfy living. Some loses a chance to prove self better. Some loses a family, a loved one. And some who experienced all those say "Don't lose heart. God is alive, and He has purpose and plan for you".

I believe in God, and that's a fact. I believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God, who died for all of us, to wash away all our sins, may it be big or small, and save us from Hell, God's eternal punishment to people who stand against His words and not repent. I believe that all people, may you be a pastor, or priest; may you be in caves, behind walls, or wide in the open; may you be an ordinary person, there is no and never been an exception. All of us is sinner. It takes to have humility, and an open heart to accept that all of us is a sinner; to accept in ourselves that we are loathsome sinners in the eyes of God. That is why we need God's forgiveness. God so loves all of us that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

I read the Bible, and I believe in it. What I do not believe is what other people say about it. For so they say according to other books also. And so I read the Bible. It contains and reads God's philosophy. A philosophy that all philosophies should converge to. No other attention-diverting book is parallel to it. No, not one, never been. How pleasant it is to open our minds and hearts to wisdom God offers us. How awesome it is to see things according to God's perspective and viewpoints-- a philosophy I long to have while I live!

I was confused but now it all starts to make sense. The more I replayed things in mind, the more it sheds light to the matter. And the more I understand, the more it hurts!

Connecting the dots – is what I do best. A strength I detest especially when things go wrong.

All this time I feel fear. Fear mixed with ire, salted with pity towards a person. Fear in a way I begin to know she is opposite of the person I know she is. Fear, that she was duped. Manipulated. Brain-washed! Anger because of willfully charging someone innocent. Yes, she does! And pity. Pity for her. I say pity!Too desperate forcing a fool out of her hurling blames on anyone at every turn!

She plays scenes in mind, wandering off to a world of null and hunch and folly. Senseless. Unreasonable.

A dream. A bad one this is. These things that befall seem to be all unreal. A nightmare I want to rid myself of. I want to awake.

Then came this hazy encounter in sleep. Some things just haunt us even when we're asleep. Guess these happen if one so longs to air out something that storms within.

It eventually turned into terror when it involved such a gruesome person- one who thinks of own self before anyone else - arrogant and assuming.

Scenes are played. I have both of us. Then a soft, intimate voice pierces this deafening silence, it says,

"I admire you. Esteemed. Respected you above all in it. Put you in the pedestals and hailed you. We looked up to you. In our dark moments you are that ray of sunshine we cling to. Now you created walls. Boundaries you ruthlessly traced. All of a sudden you nag with a voiceless indignation. Hateful stares you sparingly throw. Reasons I seek, but couldn't find anything sane! Despite these, still, pleasant thoughts of you prevails.. They forced their way in and compelled me to believe you are the same person I once knew you were. One who does things heedfully. Logically. One willing to spend more time thinking, and putting things in order first before making a move. One who is prudent. Principled. Wise..."

And you changed.