Wistful Melody

Eyelids wear more weight

Yet I am still awake.

My own feeling is a storm within.

Confused of what to say,

Seemingly cool of what to do.

Thought that wanders off to somewhere comes back,

When words heard are like hundred swords slashed at a target.

Oh so wicked, so sharp, so painful!

I could feel it tears my flesh as it pierces.

Flesh that makes up the bulk of my courage.

Can hardly stay up! My heart is heavy.  I feel so weak.

Could hardly know of what to do.

 Now I project what seems composed

When inside of me is fountain of bets and rivers of doubt.

I am drowned within.  Totally.  Worry engulfs me.

I want to pay it no heed.

Paint it red.  No!  Just paint it black, for better disguise.

Make it blue, a sight of peace.  Spectators like it.  Or will they?

My heart pounds inside my chest.

Will I stoke the fires of pain and set it blaze?

Or must I do otherwise, and put on a show?

My brain is whirled with the thought of what happens next.

I peel away layer and layer of wrong thinking

'Coz I know the truth.  And truth will I use as my weapon.

Know that plans may unravel like a cheap sweater,

But at least,,  I air out what I have to.

As I grope for words to say, sadness prevail my core.

Memories, those that are pleasant, flood back with no halt.

Once I knew him as friend.  Smiles creased our faces.

Humors flitted in and out, at times corny, but funnily-spoken.

Now,  heart lowly bends.  Don’t feel.  My emotion, I try to hide it.  I will be tough..

Then words proceeded smoothly.
Out of a raging river inside they emerge.
Keeping cool while heart is worn on sleeve.
What is within is poured out
On that single moment, all has to know what has to be known.

Then the cold wind blows, softly tugs at my arms and face..

 Somewhat it signals for pause.  And stop!

Couldn't continue no more…  The unspoken,  I leave it here.

In mind, a piece of paper can contain it.

Could unearth a piece of ground, and just place it.

Will pack it down with the feet, and declare it a funeral of sorrow.